‘My husband betrayed me.’ He was an ‘angel’ for 3 years, but got me in financial trouble. Who can help me now?

Question: My husband betrayed me. He was an angel for three years before we were married, but after marriage we applied for Social Security and started the process for a green card, and he completely changed. He wanted to finish his paperwork by himself and he even tried to put me in bad situations with banks and various health issues. Our marriage only lasted 10 months, and we don’t live together anymore. Is the best thing to do to file for divorce from my side? Is this considered fraud? Who can help me sort out these money issues? Do I need a divorce lawyer and a financial adviser, or should I be consulting some other kind of professional?

Answer: This is a heartbreaking and tough situation, and there are several things here that raise red and yellow flags. Firstly, we will tackle whether you should file for divorce. Secondly, we’ll take a look at the Social Security issues. Then, thirdly, we’ll look into whether you need a financial adviser. (Looking for a financial adviser too? Use this free tool to get matched with a fiduciary adviser who might meet you needs.)

Do you need a lawyer?

Divorcing is a personal decision, but it’s pretty clear he’s done things to you that many would consider divorce-worthy, suggests Marguerita Cheng, a certified financial planner at Blue Ocean Global Wealth. “I would suggest that you consult with a divorce attorney,” says Cheng. “I would not want your husband to use your personal information like your Social Security number or driver’s license number to open any fraudulent accounts in your name. And I would also suggest a credit freeze to ensure that accounts will not be opened in your name without your permission.”

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That said, financial therapist Nate Astle adds, “if the hope is that the marriage will remain intact, there is some serious work that needs to be committed by both of you. I’d recommend working with a financial therapist who has experience with financial infidelity and/or discernment counseling.” Astle adds, however, “if there are secret accounts or benefits being opened, I’d say that could constitute financial infidelity. Now, couples can and do recover emotionally and financially from these experiences all the time, just as those couples where there has been a sexual affair, however, that level of healing really happens if both people are fully invested into healing and mending the trust in the relationship.” In his case, does that apply?

If that’s not the case for both parties, it may be better to consult a divorce attorney and potentially a financial planner who has experience with benefit disputes, says Grace Yung, a CFP at Midtown Financial Group. “It’s recommended that you consult with an attorney, but additionally, you should enlist the assistance of a CFP to help you navigate the financial aspects of your situation,” says Yung. (Looking for a financial adviser too? Use this free tool to get matched with a fiduciary adviser who might meet you needs.)

Other things to consider: If you live in a so-called community property state, then most debts accrued during the marriage, and possibly even before, are considered equal responsibility of both parties, even if the debt is only in one person’s name. There are currently nine of these states: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin.

“You should definitely seek legal advice — and if you don’t know where to turn, you can contact your local bar association,” says Thomas Nitzsche of Money Management International, a nonprofit credit counseling service. “If you’re low income, you might qualify for free legal aid and if you’re responsible for high-interest credit card debt and find yourself overwhelmed or unable to make progress paying it down, you might want to consider a debt management plan through a nonprofit.”

That said, if you’re retired with no assets and collecting protected income like SSI, you may be judgment proof and not have to repay debt if you can’t afford it.

Furthermore, “You could consult an immigration lawyer to determine if any other considerations may be helpful in your case, which, as we see, is more legal than financial,” says Alonso Rodriguez Segarra, a CFP at Advise Financial.

Is this fraud?

If your husband knowingly married you just to get around immigration laws, that’s considered marriage fraud under U.S. immigration law. The penalty for this is five years of imprisonment and a $250,000 fine. 

It seems your spouse was not a permanent resident of the United States prior to your marriage, after which he applied for a green card to gain permanent resident status. Once a permanent resident card (green card) has been issued, a Social Security Number can be assigned, which makes it possible for the former non-citizen to collect Social Security benefits after approximately 10 years (or 40 qualifying credits) of verified work are completed. At this point, permanent resident card holders who have paid into the Social Security system may qualify for benefits.

To combat potential instances of this type of fraud, the Immigration Marriage Fraud Amendments of 1986 established a two-year conditional status for spouses seeking permanent resident status, requiring that an actual family unit still remain in existence at the end of the two-year period. That said, spouses can also claim Social Security benefits after being married for one year, depending on whether certain conditions are met.

If you’re saying he’s trying to collect Social Security benefits on your record, here’s how that works: Ex-spouses would not be eligible to collect benefits on their ex-spouse’s earning record unless the marriage lasted for 10 years and the couple has been divorced for two years. 

The Social Security Administration states that generally, you must be married for one year before you can collect your spouse’s benefits. Other qualification conditions include being over the age of 62 years old, having a child under 16, or having a disability — all of which mean someone can qualify to collect their spouse’s benefits, according to a blog post written by Dawn Bystry, acting associate commissioner at the office of strategic and digital communications for the Social Security Administration. That said, this won’t keep you from getting your own Social Security benefit.

Do you need a financial planner?

Pros say you should most likely get a divorce attorney, and maybe a financial planner. If you do decide to hire a financial planner, you might want to consider at CFP. That’s because, in order to earn their designation, CFPs are required to undergo extensive education requirements, pass exams, perform thousands of hours of work related experience and they’re required to adhere to a fiduciary duty. It may also be advisable that the person you decide to work with is also be fee-only, meaning their only compensation comes from you, the client, and not from commissions or a third party. (Looking for a financial adviser too? Use this free tool to get matched with a fiduciary adviser who might meet you needs.)

Fee-only financial planners operate under a number of fee structures from the assets under management model (AUM), where they typically charge 1% of AUM; to hourly engagements, which tend to run between $150 and $450 per hour; and flat-fee agreements that can cost anywhere from $2,500 to $7,500 depending on where you’re located and how complicated your case is.

Have an issue with your financial adviser or looking for a new one? Email [email protected].

Questions edited for brevity and clarity.