Authored by Randy Tatano via The Epoch Times (emphasis ours),
It’s the most wonderful time of the year—unless you have no idea what to buy someone, you receive an absolute disaster of a gift, or someone gives you a present when you haven’t bought them anything.
Fear not, for there is help for those who find the whole concept of shopping and gift exchanging stressful. We asked three experts in etiquette (yes, that still exists) to help take the anxiety out of the process.
Finding the Elusive Perfect Gift
Your rich aunt doesn’t need anything, your best friend never wants anything, and you have no idea what your favorite coworker does for fun. You’re clueless as to what to buy these people. Turns out, you simply need to put on your thinking cap or ask a question or two.
“It’s just about paying attention to the people in your life, being really thoughtful, and thinking from their shoes,” said Jennifer L. Scott, bestselling author of the “Madame Chic” series on etiquette and manners. “What would they really like to receive?”
If there’s someone on your gift list you don’t know that well, talk to someone close to that person to get some ideas.
“It’s such a great strategy to ask people who know them better than you do. The people closer to them will be able to help you,” Scott said.
Diane Gottsman, who runs The Protocol School of Texas, suggests even asking the recipients themselves.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong within your own family or within your own friend group saying, ‘Hey, listen, what do you need? What would you like? What would light up your life?’” she said. ”You have to think about each person if you really want to do it right. You’re fine-tuning it for that individual.”
Bethany Friske, founder of Doors of Success School of Etiquette, agrees that being thoughtful requires what the word implies: some thought. Know enough about the person on your list.
“You want to be aware of the person’s personality and not give them something that they would never, ever use just because it’s something that you like,” she said. If you don’t know someone well, she recommends against giving a gift that is super personal, such as jewelry or home decor.
“I love to give something that the person didn’t know they needed or wouldn’t spend on themselves, yet I know the person well enough [to know] that they would love it—filling a need that they didn’t know they had,” she added. For example, her mother had a Christmas figurine set from her own mother, from the 1950s, with a broken piece. Her sister found and gifted her a replacement. “My mom was overjoyed and completely blessed by the thought of this gift!”
Friske also suggests keeping a record of your gifts so you don’t end up giving someone the same present twice, especially if someone’s been on your gift list for years. She keeps a gift-giving journal.
“You can go back and find out what you gave to the person, and even how much you spent,” she said.
And if all else fails, cash or gift cards get Gottsman’s stamp of approval. But again, she suggests putting some thought into it to make it look like an actual present.
“It’s the presentation that counts,” she said. Don’t just stick it in a plain envelope; put it in a pretty card or a beautifully wrapped box.
“Cash is king, because when you give a beautiful holiday card to someone and insert cash, that gives them the freedom to buy whatever they would like,” she added. Just make sure any gift cards are for stores or restaurants the recipient actually likes.
Scott says cash is a great gift for young people: “Cash gifts for older children are always appreciated.”
For younger kids, she adds that classic toys that will last a long time are always a good idea.
“I think it’s nice for children to give them timeless, high-quality things, rather than toys that are going to break down,” she said. A little girl who receives a beautiful dollhouse might keep it forever as a reminder of her best childhood memories, and eventually might pass it down to her own daughter.
Remember that a beautiful package is often the one that’s opened first, so make sure your gifts stand out. Thankfully, someone figured out that most guys can’t do a decent job wrapping a box or tying a pretty bow. So whoever came up with the idea of the colorful gift bag, every man thanks you.
Professional Gifts Should Be Professional
If you have coworkers or clients on your Christmas list, remember, it’s business. Gottman says you shouldn’t get too personal with gifts, like perfume or a massage.
“You want to keep it professional,“ she said. ”Maybe tickets to a theater, or to a game that you know they like. Something generic, but nice. Something thoughtful.”
Scott suggests if you have a lot of coworkers, you might want to give them all the same thing. “Generic but nice” works here, too.
“It doesn’t necessarily have to be a big ticket item,” she said. “Maybe bake cookies for all of them and wrap them up in pretty packages. Homemade cookies—who wouldn’t want to receive that?”
Significant Gifts for Your Significant Other
Your current significant other might be your soulmate—or might not. Too early to tell? You want a gift that’s thoughtful without possibly scaring the other person away. Gottsman suggests something “lighthearted and kind,” such as a dinner at that person’s favorite restaurant.
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