Hello and welcome to Working It.
This week I stood nervously at the front of a classroom at Sacred Heart Catholic School in Camberwell, south London. I was there to talk to Year 12 students about my career, and about developing skills that will help them in the workplaces of the future 🔮.
My visit was part of the Speakers for Schools programme, and I strongly encourage Working It readers to take part. The UK social mobility charity sends “eminent, reputable figures from a range of industries” (apparently that includes me 😉) to give talks in state schools, with the aim of widening students’ perspectives and career aspirations. Find out more and apply to become a speaker here.
Read on for excellent advice on how to navigate transitions and endings at work, and in Office Therapy I commiserate with a reader frustrated with persistent “meeting lateness”.
How to deal with endings (and get ready for the next thing 🧳)
Last week marked the end of the Working It podcast, and I was feeling . . . melancholy ☹️. I asked Working It readers and the LinkedIn hive mind: what are your best tips for navigating endings when that has been a big part of your work identity?
The podcast was just one part of my job, so I was interested to hear how people have dealt with bigger rifts, such as parting ways with an employer that has been core to their working identity, or even to their whole adult life. I had lots of useful comments, messages and emails (thank you 📩) and wanted to share some insights here.
First, though, I went to Herminia Ibarra, professor of organisational behaviour at London Business School, and author of Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing your Career. Herminia is an expert (probably THE expert) in workplace transitions. She stressed that there is a big difference between dealing with voluntary endings at work — and forced ones.
“Endings are hard because our sense of self is so tied up with what we do. When you choose to leave, it’s easier because you are in control and, most likely, you have a plan. Exits are much harder when they are forced upon us because they are threats to our livelihood, status and self-confidence. Usually, there is no plan.
“Psychologically, loss and threat kill our creativity and stifle our desire to explore — they make us want to seek safety and security, and that’s not the best recipe for finding a fulfilling next chapter 📘.
“That’s why people reeling from an involuntary loss should resist the urge to jump immediately into action to replace the lost job. Better to take the time to process what has occurred, what it means, and how to talk about it while at the same time recognising and reaffirming other important facets of who you are. Doing things that build a more positive emotional state will increase the likelihood that you can take advantage of the change to move into something better 🪜.”
Those who had been through transitions themselves also emphasised the importance of taking time to stop and think. Rupert Brown, an HR leader and change adviser, said: “The identity piece is huge. The limbo period between ending one thing and starting another is uncomfortable. It’s also where the creativity and experimentation lies. The growth. Don’t rush it. Allow it to close naturally, don’t force or seek closure, if there is such a thing.”
Patrice Gordon has recently navigated a shift from corporate leadership roles to being CEO of her consultancy business, Eminere. She offered a reminder that it’s generally not a lack of performance that causes abrupt, forced endings. “I’ve worked with the world’s top consultants to refine strategic priorities, and I’ve even led those projects myself. If you’re a strong performer and your role is removed or changed, know this: it’s not about you — it’s just business.
“I get that it feels deeply personal, but behind those closed doors, executives aren’t thinking about names — they’re looking at boxes, headcount, and whether roles align with strategy.”
A final word from Catherine Mayer, who has done many different — and successful — things. An experienced journalist, she co-founded the Women’s Equality party and the Primadonna festival, and has written several non-fiction books. Her first novel comes out in April. (I was a bit star-struck when I first met her.) Catherine told me: “All I can say is that in every change, there is a spark for something new. I don’t mean that in a blithe way, but just from experience. There are scars but some of the best things I’ve ever done have come at moments like this.”
In short: You’re allowed to grieve when a job or project comes to an end, especially if it’s a forced ending. Give yourself time.
Want more? This Too Shall Pass, by the psychotherapist Julia Samuel, is the book I keep returning to for support with life changes of all sorts. It’s also beautifully written.
Office Therapy
The problem: One of our leaders is, without fail, late for the meetings they are organising/leading. Usually by five minutes or so 🕰️. The rest of us manage to get to the room or log on punctually. Is this a power play? It’s annoying rather than serious — but can we do anything?
Isabel’s advice: Well, you could all turn up five minutes late, en masse. That’s my first thought. Give it a go.
My guess is this boss is over-scheduled — whether by themselves or by their executive assistants — and they haven’t got a break between meetings to make a cup of tea ☕️, visit the bathroom or check if anyone has liked their Instagram story.
At an external meeting I attended recently, the facilitator wrapped things up by saying they needed to “honour our time” by finishing punctually. I wouldn’t be able to say that (unironically) myself — but I like the sentiment. Our time is valuable. Is there a brave soul (you?) among the attendees who can mention to the whole group that they’d like things to start on time 🙋🏽?
There are often deep-set reasons why we are late. I am punctual, but sometimes, when I don’t want to go to a social or work event, I somehow don’t leave enough time to get there. I am sure you know this feeling: you can’t admit you don’t want to go, but your unconscious mind is rebelling 🤺. Your boss may just hate running meetings.
Perhaps they don’t feel they are important enough to be in charge (lack of self worth) or are just over-optimistic about how long it takes to get from their desk to the faraway meeting room. (The FT’s office has some meeting rooms with confusing names and locations 🤷♀️, which, in my experience, can genuinely hold things up.)
So, unless you are willing to tackle this openly with the boss, their EA, or in the group setting of a meeting — and all of those require what is fashionably called “psychological safety”, and I would call “terrifying frankness” — then you and your colleagues will need to embrace those extra minutes of doomscrolling📱.
Got a dilemma for Office Therapy? Email me: [email protected]. We anonymise everything, properly.
US workplace insights from Charter: AI can spot the things you’re avoiding
I asked Kevin Delaney, editor-in-chief of Charter, a US future-of-work media and research firm, to share the most interesting tip to come out of Charter’s AI Summit last week. He mentioned an anecdote from Dan Shipper, chief executive of Every, a media and tech start-up. As Kevin told me, “Dan puts transcripts of meetings into ChatGPT or Claude and asks ‘What do you notice about how I’m showing up?’”
Kevin went on: “Dan is trying to get better about conflict avoidance so he asks the AI tool, ‘Are there things that I’m avoiding that I should be dealing with?’ He’ll sometimes try that with an entire day’s worth of meetings.”
AI is already very sensitive to the nuances of social dynamics and can give good feedback. I am fascinated: are any Working It readers already doing this? Do let me know if so. (It might really help us all: in many British workplaces, for example, we tend not to confront tensions head-on 🫣.)
Five top stories from the world of work
-
Have America’s industrial giants forgotten what they are for? Andrew Hill wrote this long read on the crisis facing long-established giant corporations. Getting big and successful often means that leaders start to focus too much on short-term financial metrics. Great reader comments, too.
-
The DEI backlash: employers are reframing, not retreating: Anjli Raval surveys the crisis in DEI and finds cause for optimism as employers committed to diversity start to focus on effective change programmes.
-
Where ‘woke’ went wrong: A really good overview of how we got to this point of backlash against progressive politics and corporate DEI (see above). Henry Mance tells “the story so far” and looks ahead.
-
The office sycophant will always be with us: Some great tips in this column from Pilita Clark on how to get ahead at work without being a toady. Sitting next to the boss in meetings is one simple tactic.
-
Confessions of the world’s most elite sober coach: An FT weekend profile by John Phipps of Tony Dominguez, a sober coach to the Hollywood and business elites, and of the wider shadow world of addiction and recovery that runs in parallel with the more visible everyday. It’s a long read, but very worthwhile.
One more thing . . .
I’ve fallen out of love with theatre, but this week I risked a night in the stalls: The Years is an adaptation of a memoir by the French Nobel Prize-winning writer, Annie Ernaux. It’s playing in the West End until April. Five actors play Annie at different stages of her life — as well as all the other parts. It’s unflinching in its portrayal of women’s lives, but it’s also brilliant and often very funny. Two hours pass in a flash. (Caveat: if you are very squeamish, this play may not be right for you.)
Finally! Giveaways are back 🎁
One of our last Working It podcast episodes featured Alison Wood Brooks, Harvard Business School professor and author of TALK: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves. Alison gave us her tips on having better conversations, at work and beyond. Her TALK framework (it stands for Topics, Asking, Levity, Kindness — the pillars of good conversation) makes a lot of sense to me and I’ve been trying to put it into practice 🤞🏼.
TALK is published by Penguin Life (£20) but we have 10 copies to give away to Working It readers. Enter the giveaway using this form by noon UK time on Friday, February 7. We will draw winners at random and will notify them in the afternoon.
Read the full article here