Tips to ease staff tensions

Hello and welcome to Working It.

I went to Oxford university this week for a buzzy event hosted by the head of its careers service, and author of the FT’s Dear Jonathan column, Jonathan Black. I felt a bit fraudulent talking about careers in journalism ✍🏽 to 150 Gen Z students, given that the paths into this (ahem) profession were clearly defined when I started out — and now they are not.

But what hasn’t changed is human nature: are you someone who other people want to work with? And how can you make the most of working effectively with colleagues — the people who can help to develop your career?

I recommended that the students read the psychotherapist Philippa Perry’s new book, The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read (*and maybe a few you don’t), which tells us that we can’t change other people. We can only change ourselves and how we react to others.

That’s the piece of work advice I really wish I’d known at 21. I’d love to hear what you wish you’d known when you started out. Email me at [email protected].

Read on for some guidance on helping to keep workplaces calm when staff have radically different political views, and in Office Therapy we counsel someone being treated very shabbily by their bosses😡.

Calming ideas for tense workplaces

The Israel-Hamas war has led to divisions and tension in communities everywhere — in public life, on social media — and in workplaces. Events in the Middle East have forced employers to reflect on what it is that we really mean when we use that fashionable phrase, “bringing our whole selves to work”. If that self includes political beliefs that are radically at odds with those of other colleagues, and we are vocal about them, it’s likely to create tension that could lead to misery.

So, I wondered, how can managers defuse and deflect arguments? I spoke to Anne Marie Mitchell, senior vice-president at Reputation Partners, a US strategic communications firm, and an expert in crisis management.

First, she says, older managers and leaders need to recognise that younger generations are driving a change in workplace norms — and this is not going to stop: “For Gen Z and younger millennials, not only do they feel it is a moral imperative to engage, they expect their organisations to engage.” When — as has happened in recent weeks — many employers don’t make public statements, this can cause anger and upset. “A lot of people will jump to the conclusion that ‘my organisation is just being willfully ignorant or not engaging because they don’t care’ — but they are not thinking that maybe it’s because the organisation’s stakeholders are so vast and complex.”

Anne Marie counsels caution for everyone. “I always say, ‘are you reacting emotionally or rationally? I think a lot of people will engage emotionally instantly. You know that old piece of advice you give people when you write an email out of emotion and anger? Keep it in drafts for a day or two, until you can come back with a rational head and look at it.” Managers can talk to staff, Anne Marie says, about these difficult issues, and take time to look at everyone’s point of view.

“In the US we have been struggling with a lot of issues, and just being an employer that permits employees to have dialogue and talk through things, it is helpful to feel you can do that but without ‘going public’ with it.”

This approach requires trust that staff won’t “go public” with what’s been said internally. But can you stop them if they do post on social media- about internal discussions, or their own views? David D’Souza, membership director for the CIPD, the UK’s professional body for HR, says: “This is a legal grey area as there is a need to strike a balance between an employee’s right to privacy and the employer’s right to protect its interest and reputation.” The best practice is to have a clear policy outlining what is and is not acceptable behaviour when using social media.

David also makes the point that talking about difficult things may not be the best solution for some workplaces. “Employers might not ordinarily consider trying to influence or control day-to-day topics of conversations in the workplace, but the escalating conflict in the Middle East has created exceptional circumstances. Employers should be conscious that disagreements over any kind of war or conflict and its causes or solutions could become extreme so may want to consider limiting what can be discussed in the workplace on the subject — if at all.”

*The CIPD has published advice about supporting staff affected by the conflict in Gaza and Israel — it also covers tensions in the workplace.

This week on the Working It podcast

ADHD — attention deficit hyperactivity disorder — is in the news. Many thousands of adults are now being diagnosed with the condition (people in my family among them). An estimated 5 per cent of adults globally have ADHD, which has many symptoms, often including inability to focus and impulsivity.

There are currently severe shortages of the medicines used to treat the condition. In this week’s Working It episode I talk to consultant psychiatrist Dr Uthish Sreedaran about these issues, and to Leanne Maskell, who has ADHD and advises businesses on how to get the best from staff members with the condition. It can be a superpower at work, but managers need to be mindful of the needs of their neurodiverse team members, she says.

Office Therapy

The problem: I suffered burnout after returning from maternity leave into a “greedy job”. I was put on secondment into a non-client-facing role. My secondment is coming to an end and the manager in the department I am rejoining has already signalled their displeasure. I’ve been told I have lost seniority by taking the secondment, and they are not taking that time into account so my career path — and pay — has been set back.

I need to go back but I will look for another job. Or should I just leave? 

Isabel’s advice: You have been treated very shabbily indeed, so I asked for expert advice from Jane Johnson, founder of Careering into Motherhood, which offers individual coaching for mothers — and best practice advice for businesses.

Jane says: “The Fawcett Society has just reported that a quarter of a million women each year are leaving jobs as a result of toxic attitudes to motherhood. So please know that this is not a ‘you’ problem. It is an employer turning a blind eye to toxic behaviours and supporting a culture of bullying.

“Organisations like Pregnant Then Screwed and Working Families have legal and HR helplines and can advise you whether your employer has acted lawfully in regard to your treatment at the firm and reduction in salary. An employer’s answer to overwork and burnout should not be to remove you from the team, cut your salary and restrict your career development. They should be looking to address the cause of your overwork and burnout, and the industry-wide issue of why so few women make it to the top.

“This manager’s attitude and actions are not something that you can fix. If your employer is not willing to address his behaviours then you may have to consider whether to build a career elsewhere that suits you better.

“If you leave, dissociate what you’ve experienced from any thoughts about your professional and personal achievements. You have been through some enormous life changes and coaching may help you rebuild your confidence. But for now I would think the most important thing is you taking back control of your career.”

Got a question, problem or dilemma for Office Therapy? Think you have better advice for our readers? Send it to me: [email protected] or via a voice note. We anonymise everything. Your boss, colleagues or underlings will never know.

Five top stories from the world of work

1. “I just lost the fear”: Why more older people are founding start-ups A positive story about going it alone after decades in employment. Jonathan Moules talks to owners and VC specialists about making a successful shift.

2. Science needs diversity more than ever Another attack on attempts to diversify a profession, this time in the science world. Anjana Ahuja reports on government intervention in what should be an independent advisory panel.

3. Trouble at English National Opera: will the drama ever end? Henry Mance dives into the long history of ENO’s funding problems, the uneasy British relationship with opera — and internal tensions at London’s Coliseum.

4. Special report: the UK’s leading recruiters The FT has produced the UK’s first rankings of recruiters, with Hays in the top spot and Heidrick & Struggles next, with an accompanying package of articles.

5. Why the young should go to the office: Janan Ganesh (not someone often seen in the FT office) suggests that young people have much to learn from being at work. There are some gems among the 400-odd reader comments, too.

One more thing . . . 

I love the Substack newsletter app and pay for several full subscriptions to support writers. The sub that gives me the most value, every week, is Anne Helen Petersen’s Culture Study newsletter. Anne Helen’s culture and life writing hits the mark, plus she’s also a workplace expert.

What makes this Substack stand out, though, are its comment threads. Topics such as “What’s your job’s problem?” attract hundreds of fascinating replies from subscribers. (A massage therapist talking about unwashed clients won that thread for me. You’ll never disrobe again before really soaping down first 🚿.)