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What’s the buzz? Have you ever fallen asleep in a toilet? Now you can do so in style. In Oxford, two Victorian public toilets have been transformed into a pair of “suites” — basic but elegant options for those wishing to spend a night, not just a penny. Surprisingly, they feel spacious. Even better, they don’t smell.
Oxford’s former prison is already a hotel, Malmaison, so perhaps this is the logical next step: restrooms turned into rest-rooms. The former toilets will not trouble those accustomed to the city’s luxury hotels, such as the Old Parsonage, but they may compete with the cheaper options. Call it an AirBnPee? Or a room with a . . . ? Enough, the suites’ actual name, The Netty, comes from Geordie slang for toilet.
Location, location, location: The good news is that the converted toilets are in the middle of Oxford, just across from the Ashmolean Museum and the Randolph Hotel. The bad news is that they are also in the middle of a main road, St Giles’. Each underground suite has its own flight of steps, both located on the same traffic island.
There is no pedestrian crossing: you need to avoid a couple of lanes of traffic. Indeed, the risks of crossing the road were a major reason that the council closed the toilets in 2008 and never reopened them. In 2014, the Harries-Jones family, who operate the Galaxie Hotel in north Oxford, paid £125,000 for a 125-year lease of the site — nearly double the guide price. They initially planned to turn it into offices, before eventually opening The Netty this summer.
“The challenge has been making sure people know what they’re booking,” says Charlie Harries-Jones. “Some people have arrived and said: where am I staying?!”
Checking in: Providing you don’t get hit by a car, arrival is smooth. You go down the steps, enter a keypad on the door, and a hidden world reveals itself. No fuss with reception, corridors and lifts. You then take a further couple of stairs down to the sleeping area: in the refit, the concrete floor was taken down about a metre. “The single biggest thing was to ensure there was enough headroom,” says Harries-Jones. “Part curiosity, part cocoon” is the publicity phrasing.
The suites have been designed by Rachael Gowdridge, whose other projects include The Hoxton Hotels. The aim is “irreverent theatricality”, and my suite, number two, achieves this with a leafy draped canopy over the bed, some jazzy art, and a starkly pink toilet. It’s so jolly that you will only occasionally think about all the previous visitors.
The bathroom tiles, based on prints of a yew tree, are intended to evoke the nearby Botanic Garden. Look up from the seat, and you will see glass blocks built into the pavement. It being autumn, during my stay these are coated in leaves, so there’s no prospect of light (or curious passers-by — the glass is opaque). The rest of the suite is neatly functional — including a dressing table, a large TV and a couple of small chairs — although a couple of fittings could use a screwdriver.
What about the food? Don’t push it. I found a lone bottle of Babycham in the minibar (though I was later told it was “a mistake”). There is also a kettle with tea and instant coffee.
Other guests: None visible — the suite and the steps are your own — although there was some guffawing from the other suite, adding a slight dungeon vibe to the experience. This was accentuated by the fact that the suite lacked hot water during my stay. The owners boast of “subtle nods to the building’s past”, but this felt a little too close to the public toilet experience. I was reassured to discover a plumber working on the boiler later that day.
Are you done yet? The novelty would wear off, but for a night it did the job. “You either love it or you hate it,” says Harries-Jones. I quite liked it.
The damage: Rates currently start from about £140 per night, rising to £200 at busier times.
Elevator pitch: Urine for a treat.
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