Even Jeff Bezos is part of the ‘sandwich generation,’ as he relocates to be closer to aging parents

The Amazon
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founder, with his fortune of more than $161 billion, may not be a typical case — but he will nonetheless be tending to his businesses, his children, and his mom and stepdad.

“My parents have always been my biggest supporters. They recently moved back to Miami, the place we lived when I was younger (Miami Palmetto High class of ’82 — GO Panthers!) I want to be close to my parents,” Bezos said in an Instagram post.

Read: Jeff Bezos moving from Seattle to Miami — and his two neighboring mansions there

Bezos’s mother and stepfather, Jackie and Miguel Bezos, are the cofounders of the Bezos Family Foundation. Both are reportedly in their late 70s. Meanwhile, Bezos, 59, has four children with his ex-wife, the philanthropist MacKenzie Scott. He is engaged to media personality Lauren Sanchez, who has three children of her own.

“The issues facing the sandwich generation are very complex. You’re caring for or worrying about your parents, and you also have children,” said Merlana Del Hierro, a gerontologist and vice president of partnerships and commercial strategy at Seniorly, a senior-housing marketplace and technology company. “That’s a lot of emotions to carry.”

Read: Why Jeff Bezos’s move to Miami is a great ‘tax play’ for the billionaire

“The benefits of being closer to a parent is proven that you will be more able to visit that loved one more often and they are going to have a better quality of life,” Del Hierro added. “Checking in, forging relationships with caregivers, providing more socialization, being closer to advocate for them — it’s all a positive ricochet for the loved one.”

Before deciding to move to be near aging parents, make sure you have a conversation about what your parents want, what you’ll be able to provide, and what boundaries everyone needs to keep the relationship strong, Del Hierro said.

“It’s a big transition for both sides,” Del Hierro said. “Healthy space is important for everyone involved. And you need to make sure you’re in a healthy state to be a successful caretaker or advocate for your loved one.”

Being in the middle as a “sandwich” caregiver differs from being a caregiver with an older adult but no minor children to care for, according a 2022 study by researchers at the University of Michigan’s department of psychiatry. In short, it’s a lot more difficult.

Overall, the study found, caregivers in the sandwich generation were twice as likely as their counterparts who only act as caregivers to a parent over 65 to report financial difficulty (36%, compared with 17%), and more likely to report substantial emotional difficulty (44%, compared with 32%).

On average, sandwich-generation caregivers also scored higher on a measure of overload than people who only cared for older adults, according to the research.

Jenny Munro, a response team manager and gerontologist at Home Instead, said it’s important to have a care plan and know what you’re capable of doing so you can address expectations for your aging parent and have boundaries for yourself.

“Know what you can do and what you can’t do,” Munro said. “If you’re moving to be near them, let them know you can’t be there every day, because you have a full-time job. Set the expectations so you don’t disappoint Mom or Dad.”

Read: Here’s how much caring for aging family members can cost

And be careful to avoid some common missteps when moving to be near aging parents. 

Old family dynamics can resurface if a relationship is put under stress. Aging parents may not be comfortable being in the new role of receiving care. Also, too much time together can strain the relationship and lead to caregiver burnout.

“Avoid doing it all alone. You will wear yourself out emotionally, physically and psychologically,” Munro said. “People might help their parents out of obligation and tackle too much on their own. But don’t try to be a hero. Don’t do it by yourself.”